I went to visit my elderly mother yesterday, and took her to a scheduled medical appointment with a hearing specialist. She wanted someone to evaluate her hearing aids and make certain they were working right, etc, etc, etc...
Now, I find it is always interesting to go along to Doctor's appointments and other medical evaluations...I find one of two things usually happens...either the medical folk want PROOF that I am who I say I am, and that my Mother REALLY wants me to be included in her medical life...OR they start focusing on talking to ME, almost totally excluding her, rather than remembering to communicate primarily with their elderly patient with whom they are supposed to be building a functional relationship... This makes her feel like she is two years old rather than the adult who is being tested.
Yesterday I had the interesting opportunity to watch a "hearing specialist" ask my mom to remove her hearing aids so he could clean them
WHILE HE TALKED WITH HER ABOUT THE HEARING TESTS HE WAS ABOUT TO PERFORM !!! About half way through the interview I could tell that she was not catching enough of what he was saying and would need 1) to have the whole thing repeated. 2) she would do really poorly during the testing as she had NO idea how to respond to what he was doing since she missed most of the instructions.
Was this part of the whole learning process for him to see how much she actually wasn't hearing? I don't know. He certainly didn't explain that point to her and even if he had, she wouldn't have heard him! sigh. What I saw was an elderly woman already somewhat intimidated by all the bells and whistles of the 21st century testing equipment, being further discombobulated by not being able to HEAR his explanations of all the whats, hows and whys...and then finally embarrassed by all that she was obviously not catching during the tests.
If you know me, at this point you are thinking...uh-oh.....
Yep. I got involved.
He re-explained things, she relaxed, he redid the tests and she did somewhat better on responding at the appropriate times. This didn't really change the outcome of her hearing evaluation, which shows that she has pretty profound hearing loss in both ears... He actually told her she really needed the hearing aids...*sigh*.
I MUST give him credit for correcting his way of interacting with her once we talked things through a bit. He even took her hearing aids apart, attached some fancier ones ( $6000 worth of technology) and RE-DID another part of the testing so she could "HEAR" the difference. LOL!
She COULD! The newer hearing aids increased her hearing by 45% !!! It was striking.
Anybody have an extra bit o cash they don't need ?
A particularly sad thing for me was watching and listening to how VERY much my Mom is missing whether her hearing aids are out OR in. How she functions at all amazes me even more than before. She is SO intent ( focused) on living and doing "life as usual for her" that she is just skipping along the surface and doesn't even realize it. In some ways I am very thankful for this, as being ignorant allows her to just chug along in a blissful sort of way...but not really. I was able to understand a bit more how much stress she is living under to "survive" in our world of today. It is no wonder she doesn't sleep well, and says she is "crying more than usual, but I don't know why, I have SO MUCH to be thankful for" etc... She lives in FEAR of all that she doesn't hear and understand and in great FRUSTRATION with all who rush by and are impatient.
She needs to be WITH people who care about her and can care for her when she needs it, but who are willing to leave her alone when she is "doing just fine, thank you". This whole thing of course, just makes my heart hurt, as I really believe that the family setting is the place for the elderly to reside. A safe place in which to live and serve however they can in the years God gives them. My heart is there, but the house I live in is not. It is far from where she lives. It is cold, and somewhat dark, and currently under construction, not to mention being filled with stair steps which she cannot traverse.
Since we live in a radically broken world, I understand these things should not surprise me and are the way they are because of the brokenness...this doesn't give me peace, but rather leaves me grieving. I find myself crying out..wishing for something MORE. When I search for that "something more" I am reminded that I say I believe this life is NOT the end of things but is just a mere moment of Time set in all of God's Eternity; That HE promises in His Word to wipe away the tears, to make all things new, to redeem what has been lost.
He has given me ears to hear!
That turns my eyes to Jesus, my Redeemer, right where I should have been looking all the time!
I am ( we are) safely, in His hands.
I am content. (Till I forget.)
Then He reminds.( I aught to rest!)
(He'll have me know He knows what's best.)
He'll have me learn to see, to hear Him yet!
